Mom’s Time Out: The Importance of Solitude Amidst the Chaos

If you’re anything like me, juggling a million tasks while rocking that messy bun and coffee stain on the shirt, then you know our lives feel like a roller coaster that’s had a toddler as the chief engineer. Amidst this exhilarating (read: exhausting) ride, there’s one thing we often overlook. It’s the oh-so-elusive ‘me time’.

Before you click out of this article thinking “Please stop talking about me-time when it is impossible for me to get!” Wait just a second! I’m not just going to talk about why it matters, I am going to give you some practical ways it could go from a pipe-dream to a reality.

Just the other day, between bouncing my baby on my hip, unloading the dishwasher with one free hand, and making trumpet noises to keep her entertained, I thought: When did I last have a peaceful moment all to myself? Not those quick showers with the baby’s bouncer peeking through the curtain. But a real, undisturbed moment just for me.

If that’s you, it might be time to call a “Mom’s time out.”

The Magic of Solitude: No, It’s Not Just a Fancy Term for Loneliness

Solitude isn’t about feeling lonely; it’s just having a little “me time”. There are days when mom life has me feeling a bit isolated, and what I really crave is a moment to myself.

And here’s the funny bit: even though alone time means being solo, I sometimes find my most refreshing pauses in busy places, like sipping coffee amidst other grown-ups in a coffee shop. It’s not always about being physically alone, but about finding a momentary escape and fresh air for my thoughts.

Now, solitude is not about shipping the kids off to grandma’s for the weekend or taking a three-week solo trip to Bali. It is simply about finding little pockets of time, just for you, amidst the chaos.

As a stay at home mom, I used to feel really guilty that I even felt a need to disconnect for a bit from being a mom or getting work done. I felt like maybe I didn’t enjoy my daughter enough. I wondered if I was lazy for wanting a break?

But, I’ve learned that solitude isn’t reserved for authors penning their next masterpiece or deep thinkers gazing at stars. It’s for us too. For the mamas who thrive on sticky kisses and endless bedtime stories, yet sometimes yearn for a quiet cup of coffee.

Why a “Mom’s Time Out” is Important

Recharge: Imagine running your smartphone 24/7. Eventually, even Siri will have a meltdown. We’re no different. A little downtime can recharge our mom-batteries, helping us tackle parenthood with renewed energy.

Reflect: Solitude gives us space to introspect. We can ask ourselves life’s big questions, like “Who am I?” or “Is it socially acceptable to wear pajamas all day?”

Rediscover: Remember that person who loved reading novels or painting? The one before diaper duties? It’s time to reconnect with her.

Relax: And no, hiding in the bathroom for five minutes on social media doesn’t count (though props for creativity).

Truly, taking a little bit of personal time to reset allows you to show up better for your kids and family. Work to discover what refreshes you. I have found that Netflix, although easy because it allows my brain to go numb, actually leaves me exhausted. Instead, a walk by myself with a good podcast does the trick or a 1 hour trip to Marshall’s kid-free.

Practical Ways to Find Your Slice of Solitude

Alright, sounds dreamy, but how do we realistically carve out this time?

Embrace the Early Hours or Late Nights: Whether you’re a night owl or an early bird, try adjusting your schedule by just 30 minutes. Wake up earlier or stay up a tad later, just for that quietude. It’s like a bonus nap time.
Divide and Conquer: Team up with your partner or another family member. Have them oversee the kiddos while you step out or lock yourself in your room. My husband makes sure I get out to a coffee shop by myself for a couple hours every single weekend. Sometimes it is inconvenient but we prioritize it because it has made a world of difference in our marriage and my motherhood journey.
Daily Rituals: Even if it’s just ten minutes of sipping your tea, reading a few pages of a book, or practicing deep breathing—make it a ritual.
Swap Playdates: Have a trustworthy friend with kids? Take turns hosting playdates. While one watches over the playful chaos, the other gets a break.
The Magic of Technology: Occasionally, a well-chosen educational app or a children’s show can buy you a few minutes. Use wisely and without guilt.
Outsource if Possible: If finances allow, consider occasional help—be it a cleaner, a nanny, or food delivery. I’m not at a place where this is possible right now but I have friends who can and it has made a meaningful difference.

The Realities

Now, I won’t pretend every suggestion will be a perfect fit. Time moves differently when you’re a mom and there will be days when solitude feels like an alien concept, and that’s okay.

But remember, just like we’re told to put on our oxygen mask first on an airplane before helping others, we need to take care of ourselves to be the best for our family. In fact, solitude is science-backed to be beneficial to mental health and overall well-being.

Amidst the whirlwind of parenting, grant yourself the gift of solitude, however brief. Because in those silent moments, often, we find the strength, clarity, and sometimes even the humor to be the amazing moms we are.

Wrapping it Up

Just as kids occasionally need time to reset, so do moms. Let’s face it, the continuous loop of caregiving, chores, work, and family demands can sometimes become overwhelming.

A “mom’s time out” isn’t about stepping back from responsibilities; it’s about stepping into a brief moment of calm. It’s a gentle reminder that just a few minutes of solitude, reflection, or even daydreaming can recharge our spirits and offer fresh perspectives.

May your coffee be strong, your kids’ naps be long, and your moments of solitude be oh-so-refreshing.