Social Media & Motherhood: Navigating the Comparison Trap

Let’s talk about something that’s probably as sticky as the bubblegum in your toddler’s hair right now – the wild world of social media.

As moms, it’s our go-to for the latest parenting hacks, knee-slapping memes, and, of course, those mind-numbing kiddie tunes that we can’t get out of our heads (Baby Shark, I’m looking at you).

It’s A Trap!

Sometimes, social media feels like one of those glorious supermarket aisles filled with cookies and candies. I know you should be shopping in the healthy section, but those colorful packages of sugar just keep calling my name.

And then, BAM! I’m stuck in what I like to call the “comparison trap,” which is kind of like eating a whole box of cookies in one sitting— it feels okay in the moment, but afterwards, not so much.

It’s easy to forget that social media is mostly a highlight reel. It’s a parade of home-cooked gourmet meals, impeccably dressed kids, and spotless living rooms that never see a single Lego underfoot. And let’s be honest, none of us have time for that!

The Rollercoaster of Emotions

The comparison game can make you feel like you’re on a never-ending rollercoaster ride.

One minute, you’re up in the clouds because your toddler just learned to say “please,” and the next, you’re tumbling down because another mom posted a video of her kiddo flawlessly reciting the alphabet – backwards. Talk about pressure, right?

As a first time mom I felt overwhelmed at all of the different ways I saw other moms on social media parenting or handling sleep or eating — it made me question if I was doing what was right or best for my baby.

Creating A Healthy Balance

So how do we, as moms, strike a healthy balance? Well, the same way we sneak veggies into our kid’s dinner: with creativity and a dash of fun.

First off, remember to keep things in perspective. Just as you wouldn’t compare a real apple to a picture of an apple in a magazine, remind yourself that social media is often a glossy, edited version of life.

Try tailoring your social media feed to include accounts that are honest about the ups and downs of motherhood, showing that life isn’t always picture-perfect. Also, consider setting some boundaries like designating screen-free hours during your day.

Every 6-12 months I try to go through the accounts I am following and unfollow any that are stealing my joy or taking too much of my time. This way, I am only consuming content I think is beneficial or enjoyable and save myself the heartache (and time) or endless scrolling and feeling like I am coming up short.

I also set a 20 minute time limit through my settings on my iPhone (although I have been known to hit 15 more minutes). I really should probably have my husband set the password for more time and not tell me.

Embracing the Social Media Online Village

The Internet can be a double-edged sword, but let’s not forget about its shiny side.

Social media can be the perfect place to get ideas for your next date night or find the perfect blackout curtains for your baby’s nursery.

It can offer some wonderful communities filled with support, advice, and relatable stories.

One account I especially appreciated during my midnight postpartum nursing sessions was Her View From Home. I found it super relatable and encouraging in a time when I felt most unseen and unsure of what was going on.

It’s like having a whole village of moms right at your fingertips, ready to laugh, cry, and share in your victories – like getting your little one to eat broccoli!

Don’t Forget Your Real-life Tribe

Finally, let’s not forget about the value of good, old-fashioned face-to-face interaction.

Making time for playdates, coffee chats, or just connecting over a cup of coffee with a friend or family member can offer a sense of understanding and support that no amount of likes or shares can replicate.

If you read that last paragraph and thought “Yeah, that would be great if I had the mom friends or support to grab a coffee with,” I know what you’re feeling because I am there too.

I know motherhood can feel full yet lonely because I am a mom, and I am often lonely. I am trying to get out of my comfort zone by meeting my neighbors and having them over. Or, going to the farmer’s market and asking the other mom pushing a stroller what her name is.

Building a physical village is harder than building an online village but it is worth it in the long run.

Final Thoughts

Being a mom in the age of social media is like navigating a jungle gym—you might get a few scrapes and bruises, but you can also have a lot of fun along the way.

The key is to remember that we’re all just trying our best.

So the next time you’re scrolling through your feed, remind yourself that behind every perfect post, there’s a mom just like you. And who knows? Maybe she’s also looking at your posts and thinking, “Wow, she really has it all together!”

So, let’s ditch the comparison trap, embrace the chaos, and continue on this wild journey of motherhood together.